the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
