i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
