If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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