my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
