I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
