I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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