Your mouth is God's brothel.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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