My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
