well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
