The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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