so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
