margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
