first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
well you can't waste a boner
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
