There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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