apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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