If i come over, it means nothing
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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