Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I need moral support for this bender
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
