don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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