Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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