Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
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Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
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Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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