They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
