Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
