There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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