he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
