You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
