Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
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Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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