it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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