hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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