sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize