Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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