the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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