Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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