I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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