Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
