"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
