omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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