fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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