I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
