I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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