drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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