Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
