he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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