Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
