Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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