I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
