Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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