"it" just moved
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
and you said cock pushups were impossible
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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