I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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