Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
