can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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