I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
