My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
