The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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