i barfeds in our rink
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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