You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
