Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
