I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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