some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
