My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
