your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
