Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
